Okay...so a friend of ours asked us to cover for them in teaching their junior high sunday school class for the next two sundays. Cory and I of course said yes. Well in thinking about what our lessons should be about I remembered one of my favorite stories in the Bible, Jesus walking on water. I have always thought of the story as a story about hope. One where no matter how bad our life gets, Jesus is there with us and to save us. Well this still holds to be true for this story, but while reading up on it I have gotten another meaning as well.
This story talks about how when Jesus came the disciples thought that he was a ghost because he was out on the water. He said, 'It is I.' Well Peter decided he wanted proof. So he said for the Lord to show him that it was really him by calling him to come out on the water with him. Jesus said, 'Come'. So Peter did. While he was focused on the Lord he stayed above the waves and was untouched by the storm. When Peter started to doubt he started to sink, and asked the Lord to save him. Jesus immediately reached out his hand and saved him. Jesus then said, "You of Little faith, why did you doubt?" \
This story is so true of our lives. Especially those of a Fat Chick. We go along in daily life eating to our hearts content. Then we are in the middle of our 'minds' storm and realize that we need Jesus to help us to beat this and drop the weight. When we cry out to Him, He is there. But then as we are starting to progress we think that we are failing and that it is up to us, not Jesus, to get through this. Then when we stop looking to Jesus and forget to lean on him and turn everything over to him, we stop losing weight, we start failing, AGAIN! Then the horrible cycle starts over again!
We have to stop having such small faith. We have to do what Peter was doing in the beginning. We have to look to Jesus and trust in him with all our hearts to pull us through and help us drop the weight. We have to turn it over and believe that He is the almighty God and the creator of the universe and can give and take away. So I pray tonight that I keep my focus on Jesus and walk with Him in the journey of dropping this weight! I pray the same for all you sister Fat chicks out there. I also pray this for everyone who is seeking God's assistance and guidance in their life.
Much Love,
The Fat Chick
KT
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Lab work
Okay. So I had my lab work drawn on Friday. I wasn't happy with the results. I am borderline everything! Your LDL cholesterol (bad) is suppose to be 0-99, mine was 107! My sugar, which mind you I fasted for more than 12 hours, was 106. That doesn't sound bad, but for fasting that long it upset me! So needless to say I have to crank it up. I am joining the local gym and get my butt in gear. I will let you know how it goes! Please pray for me...my fat butt is going to be hurting! I am going tomorrow to join...and may work out for the first time.
The Fat Chick
KT
The Fat Chick
KT
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
"Losing it with Jillian"...
This is my new favorite show! I love that hulu.com has it on the day after it airs. I absloutely LOVE it! I love Jillian Michaels and I think that she is an awesome person! I just watched the fourth episode, The Northern Family. I thought it was pretty awesome that they are just right down the road in Goodletsville.
Now, what have I been up to? Well I have been eating better and drinking more water. I have had some cokes in the last week but just a few. I AM going to change my life. I'm not going to do as usual and let one setback ruin my whole journey. Jillian Michaels says, 'the only way to truly fail is to quit.' That is so true. I am going to stop being afraid of failure and as the old Nike slogan says, JUST DO IT!
So here are a few of my goals for the next 8 weeks:
1. To love myself no matter my weight
2. To feed my family healthier foods
3. To Lose 40lbs.
4. To buy a bodybugg
5. To get some New Balance 1123's
So thanks and much love!
The Fat Chick
KT
Now, what have I been up to? Well I have been eating better and drinking more water. I have had some cokes in the last week but just a few. I AM going to change my life. I'm not going to do as usual and let one setback ruin my whole journey. Jillian Michaels says, 'the only way to truly fail is to quit.' That is so true. I am going to stop being afraid of failure and as the old Nike slogan says, JUST DO IT!
So here are a few of my goals for the next 8 weeks:
1. To love myself no matter my weight
2. To feed my family healthier foods
3. To Lose 40lbs.
4. To buy a bodybugg
5. To get some New Balance 1123's
So thanks and much love!
The Fat Chick
KT
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Finally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow. Yeah that's it, just wow. It has happened for me. All this time I have heard people talking about their 'aha' moment. Well let me tell you a little secret, everytime I have broken down I thought I was having my 'aha' moment. Every time I have cried and prayed and asked God to please help me overcome this, I have thought that was it. I mean, afterall, I was asking God, my totally awesome God to take it over and make it his. How could that not be my moment? Well God had bigger things in store for me! Of course he did and does! Let me tell you about my 'aha' moment!
Okay...so last night and tonight I watched the first three episodes of the new show, 'Losing it with Jillian'. (which by the way is AMAZING!) As I watched these shows I thought to myself, 'I don't have what these people have, I don't know why I keep sabotaging myself and keep gaining weight. I have had a fabulous life and been blessed with wonderful people in my life. I just don't have the emotional ties to weight like these people do.' There is one episode in particular (the third one) where a girl named Rachel reminded me of myself. She was 25 and had failed nursing school. She said she didn't know why she had failed but that she doesn't give things her all because she is afraid of failure. Ding ding ding! duh...so am I. So this got me to thinking about my fear of failure.
I was just lying here in bed thinking about why I am afraid of failure and the problems it has caused. Another way I could explain my fear is the need to be perfect. I feel like if I am going to do something I should be perfect at it, the best, no exceptions. I have went through my adult life just being lackluster, giving minimal effort and just skimming by. And you want to know why...because I am afraid if I give something my all it may not be good enough. So, why do I feel this way? Well I bet if you ask my dad he will give you some crazy answer as to why I feel this way. In all reality I feel this way because it's the way my dad made me feel when I was younger. I know all parents want is the best for their kids. But really and truly forcing your kids to be the best at everything or perfect isn't going to make them any better. Now let me explain. I do believe in helping your kids excel and get better, but when they are giving it everything they have at the end of the day you should let them know you are proud of them. At the end of my days my dad would just tell me the things I did wrong and tell me that it wasn't good enough. As a child you aim to please your parents and make them proud. Whenever I was doing my best and it wasn't good enough I felt I could never make my dad proud. So what did I do? I gave up. I gave up on everything. I mean, why not? Why try your hardest at something and still 'fail'? Now I wasn't actually failing, just in my father's eyes. But at the time I couldn't see that. Actually, I haven't been able to see that until TONIGHT!
From the time I was in elementary school until now, (about 16 years) I have felt like my best wasn't good enough. That I shouldn't even try, because if I did I would fail. I have felt like if you aren't perfect, you aren't good enough. Well today I also was at a pool party. Yes me, a fat chick at a pool party. There were tons of people there. I noticed several things. I notice that even the 'skinny' chicks aren't perfect. They aren't human barbie's running around in their bathing suits. They have a little 'extra' in some areas and yet they were completely okay with running around the pool all day just in their suits! (and if you are one of those skinny chicks, thank you...thank you for not being barbies and showing me that I don't have to be! You are beautiful people!) What a novel idea...being comfortable in your own skin and not having to reach for a towel as you get out of the pool and never taking it off. It made me realize, that when I am losing weight, my body doesn't have to be perfect. It doesn't have to be free of lumps and bumps. I just have to be comfortable with myself and where I am right then. My God made me just the way I am...and for good reasons! He made me PERFECT!
NO MORE TRYING...'Trying is planning to fail.' Jillian Michaels. I am perfect already so no need to strive for perfection. I am going to lose weight, because that's what I want. I don't have to lose it perfectly, or more importantly, I don't have to look like Barbie when I'm at my goal. I just have to look like ME!
So, this was my 'aha' moment. I hope you all enjoy reading my blog. I hope and pray that if you are a fat chick like me you will have your 'aha' moment soon.
MUCH LOVE!
The Fat Chick
KT
p.s. just for your info...I love my dad. He is who he is. I know that God is working on him too!
Okay...so last night and tonight I watched the first three episodes of the new show, 'Losing it with Jillian'. (which by the way is AMAZING!) As I watched these shows I thought to myself, 'I don't have what these people have, I don't know why I keep sabotaging myself and keep gaining weight. I have had a fabulous life and been blessed with wonderful people in my life. I just don't have the emotional ties to weight like these people do.' There is one episode in particular (the third one) where a girl named Rachel reminded me of myself. She was 25 and had failed nursing school. She said she didn't know why she had failed but that she doesn't give things her all because she is afraid of failure. Ding ding ding! duh...so am I. So this got me to thinking about my fear of failure.
I was just lying here in bed thinking about why I am afraid of failure and the problems it has caused. Another way I could explain my fear is the need to be perfect. I feel like if I am going to do something I should be perfect at it, the best, no exceptions. I have went through my adult life just being lackluster, giving minimal effort and just skimming by. And you want to know why...because I am afraid if I give something my all it may not be good enough. So, why do I feel this way? Well I bet if you ask my dad he will give you some crazy answer as to why I feel this way. In all reality I feel this way because it's the way my dad made me feel when I was younger. I know all parents want is the best for their kids. But really and truly forcing your kids to be the best at everything or perfect isn't going to make them any better. Now let me explain. I do believe in helping your kids excel and get better, but when they are giving it everything they have at the end of the day you should let them know you are proud of them. At the end of my days my dad would just tell me the things I did wrong and tell me that it wasn't good enough. As a child you aim to please your parents and make them proud. Whenever I was doing my best and it wasn't good enough I felt I could never make my dad proud. So what did I do? I gave up. I gave up on everything. I mean, why not? Why try your hardest at something and still 'fail'? Now I wasn't actually failing, just in my father's eyes. But at the time I couldn't see that. Actually, I haven't been able to see that until TONIGHT!
From the time I was in elementary school until now, (about 16 years) I have felt like my best wasn't good enough. That I shouldn't even try, because if I did I would fail. I have felt like if you aren't perfect, you aren't good enough. Well today I also was at a pool party. Yes me, a fat chick at a pool party. There were tons of people there. I noticed several things. I notice that even the 'skinny' chicks aren't perfect. They aren't human barbie's running around in their bathing suits. They have a little 'extra' in some areas and yet they were completely okay with running around the pool all day just in their suits! (and if you are one of those skinny chicks, thank you...thank you for not being barbies and showing me that I don't have to be! You are beautiful people!) What a novel idea...being comfortable in your own skin and not having to reach for a towel as you get out of the pool and never taking it off. It made me realize, that when I am losing weight, my body doesn't have to be perfect. It doesn't have to be free of lumps and bumps. I just have to be comfortable with myself and where I am right then. My God made me just the way I am...and for good reasons! He made me PERFECT!
NO MORE TRYING...'Trying is planning to fail.' Jillian Michaels. I am perfect already so no need to strive for perfection. I am going to lose weight, because that's what I want. I don't have to lose it perfectly, or more importantly, I don't have to look like Barbie when I'm at my goal. I just have to look like ME!
So, this was my 'aha' moment. I hope you all enjoy reading my blog. I hope and pray that if you are a fat chick like me you will have your 'aha' moment soon.
MUCH LOVE!
The Fat Chick
KT
p.s. just for your info...I love my dad. He is who he is. I know that God is working on him too!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
One step at a time...
Okay, so this is day four of NO cokes, diet or regular! (I did have one sprite) I am going to try and only drink non-carbonated things. I know this doesn't seem like much but to me it is a huge step. I am going to start the exercising next week! Pray for me please! Thanks and much love.
The Fat Chick
KT
The Fat Chick
KT
Sunday, June 13, 2010
ugh.....need your input PLEASE!
Okay, so here is my dilemma, Kylie has been invited to her first pool party! I know, sounds like fun huh? Well I want it to be fun for her, the only problem is, I don't want to put on a bathing suit! I am trying to find everyway around putting one on. I just don't know what to do. I really want to go swimming with her but I really don't want to be in a suit in front of all those 'skinny' people. (and trust me, they are all skinny! one is actually an aerobics instructor) I am really really dreading making a decision on this. I can't miss the party, that's not an option. So what's a fat chick to do? Really, I'm asking, what am I to do? Feedback please! Thanks!
The Fat Chick
KT
The Fat Chick
KT
Monday, June 7, 2010
You know the drill...
So I had to go grocery shopping today after my first day at my new job. (which by the way is FABULOUS!) I decided that I needed to do the smart thing and buy mainly healthy foods since I am going to be more aware of what goes in my mouth. I did okay I guess. I got what I thought was healthy and what sounded good. Here is what I brought home:
Lunch Meat (turkey and chicken)
Whole Wheat bread
baby spinach leaves
broccoli
cucumber
bananas
strawberries
grapes
pineapple
pearl onions
baby bella mushrooms
sugar free jello
sugar free pudding
low fat yogurt
no sugar added canned peaches
no sugar added canned mixed fruit
fiber one bars
Lean Cuisine meals
Pizza (for tonight)
breadsticks (for tonight)
So, I don't think I did very bad. Now I am just going to have to stick to only eating these things. So, I bet you are wondering how I did today. Well, any of you fat chicks know the drill...I pigged out! It's this sick twisted mentality that us fat chicks have. We see eating right as a diet, and before we go on the 'diet' we have to have our 'last meal'. It's like we think we are going to be starving ourselves. For lunch I had a cheesburger, half of an order of onion rings and a small cheesequake blizzard! I guess I justified it by only eating half of the onion rings and getting a small blizzard. Yeah right...it was still like a MILLION calories! But of course it was okay...it was my last lunch. Seriously? What makes my mind work like that? Then for dinner we had pizza and breadsticks because I was running short on time. This too was okay because it was my last dinner. Oh yeah...not to mention the five chocolate chip cookies that I had throughout the night...I just had to eat them tonight, after all, I couldn't let them go to waste!?!?!?!?!
So I am lying here in bed, stuffed to the max. It's okay though right? It is my last night eating like this!?! Yeah it is, I am saying that this was my last time eating like this, as a fat chick! Okay so seriously, I did act a bit silly with the eating today, but that's how us fat chicks roll. From here on out this will be a journal to my life and how I'm doing with the whole, 'getting skinny/healthy' thing. Please pray for me and I will be praying for you all and the fat chicks in your life. I hope that you will consider going on this journey and consider that bite you are taking right now your 'last bite' as a fat chick! Thanks and Much Love!
The Fat Chick
KT
Lunch Meat (turkey and chicken)
Whole Wheat bread
baby spinach leaves
broccoli
cucumber
bananas
strawberries
grapes
pineapple
pearl onions
baby bella mushrooms
sugar free jello
sugar free pudding
low fat yogurt
no sugar added canned peaches
no sugar added canned mixed fruit
fiber one bars
Lean Cuisine meals
Pizza (for tonight)
breadsticks (for tonight)
So, I don't think I did very bad. Now I am just going to have to stick to only eating these things. So, I bet you are wondering how I did today. Well, any of you fat chicks know the drill...I pigged out! It's this sick twisted mentality that us fat chicks have. We see eating right as a diet, and before we go on the 'diet' we have to have our 'last meal'. It's like we think we are going to be starving ourselves. For lunch I had a cheesburger, half of an order of onion rings and a small cheesequake blizzard! I guess I justified it by only eating half of the onion rings and getting a small blizzard. Yeah right...it was still like a MILLION calories! But of course it was okay...it was my last lunch. Seriously? What makes my mind work like that? Then for dinner we had pizza and breadsticks because I was running short on time. This too was okay because it was my last dinner. Oh yeah...not to mention the five chocolate chip cookies that I had throughout the night...I just had to eat them tonight, after all, I couldn't let them go to waste!?!?!?!?!
So I am lying here in bed, stuffed to the max. It's okay though right? It is my last night eating like this!?! Yeah it is, I am saying that this was my last time eating like this, as a fat chick! Okay so seriously, I did act a bit silly with the eating today, but that's how us fat chicks roll. From here on out this will be a journal to my life and how I'm doing with the whole, 'getting skinny/healthy' thing. Please pray for me and I will be praying for you all and the fat chicks in your life. I hope that you will consider going on this journey and consider that bite you are taking right now your 'last bite' as a fat chick! Thanks and Much Love!
The Fat Chick
KT
Sunday, June 6, 2010
So here we go...what you have all been waiting for...
I'm breaking broken. I stepped on the scale today. I am officially only two pounds away from my heaviest weight ever, well besides when I was pregnant. I cried. Then I got mad. I can't believe that I've let it come to this, AGAIN! I have told myself over and over and over again that I would NEVER get back to my heaviest weight. I promised myself that it just wouldn't happen. Well, I have almost made it back and I'm scared to death. I don't want to be there.
I have been doing this blog for a while and I'm sure you have all been wondering the same thing, 'this girl keeps talking about how upset she is being fat, but what is she doing to change it?' Well up until now I have not really been doing anything except complaining about being fat. I have been telling you about all that us fat chicks have to go through. Well, I want to change that, kind of. I am going to start making this blog a journal about me and what I am doing to CHANGE!
I am still going to be giving you the different things that go through the mind of a fat chick, but I am also going to start adding a daily journal. I am going to be confessing all that I am doing to change this fat chick into a skinny chick. I am going to show you what I'm eating, tell you what I'm thinking, and share the exercises I'm doing. I hope you don't mind. Also, I know this is a big embarrassing thing, but I'm going to be telling you my weight and my weight loss progress. I know...seems crazy huh? I know this is going to be a journey of ups and downs and a hard journey to say the least, but hopefully I can inspire someone else to make a change.
So if you want to keep up with my weight...it will be over to the side at all times. Over there somewhere --------->
Well here we go, I hope I keep you guys entertained and informed!
Much Love,
The Fat Chick
KT
I have been doing this blog for a while and I'm sure you have all been wondering the same thing, 'this girl keeps talking about how upset she is being fat, but what is she doing to change it?' Well up until now I have not really been doing anything except complaining about being fat. I have been telling you about all that us fat chicks have to go through. Well, I want to change that, kind of. I am going to start making this blog a journal about me and what I am doing to CHANGE!
I am still going to be giving you the different things that go through the mind of a fat chick, but I am also going to start adding a daily journal. I am going to be confessing all that I am doing to change this fat chick into a skinny chick. I am going to show you what I'm eating, tell you what I'm thinking, and share the exercises I'm doing. I hope you don't mind. Also, I know this is a big embarrassing thing, but I'm going to be telling you my weight and my weight loss progress. I know...seems crazy huh? I know this is going to be a journey of ups and downs and a hard journey to say the least, but hopefully I can inspire someone else to make a change.
So if you want to keep up with my weight...it will be over to the side at all times. Over there somewhere --------->
Well here we go, I hope I keep you guys entertained and informed!
Much Love,
The Fat Chick
KT
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
It's suppose to be Summer Fun...
But for us fat chicks it's more like Summer Sucks! Okay, so hear me out on this one, I love Summer. I love the outdoor gatherings, the picnics, the pool parties, the barbecues, the sun, and riding with my windows down. Well I use to love all of those things. You see, for a fat chick they aren't as fun as they use to be. I hate sweating to death at the events, not being able to wear shorts, not wearing a bathing suit, and eating in front of people. I know I know, there are shorts and bathing suits out there that are cute and are made for plus size gals, I just don't feel comfortable in them.
One of my FAVORITE past times is swimming! I use to be a water junkie, before I got fat. I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE the pool and would stay in one all day every day if I were more comfortable in my own skin. You see, I have only worn a bathing suit one time in the past 8 years. I wore it when I was pregnant. I needed to exercise and because of the swelling in my ankles, swimming was the best way to do so. So I went on a search for a suit...one that might possibly look half-way decent. Well I finally found one, after a four store search. I then would only go swimming at my sister-in-law's when no one else was there. I felt like a beached whale. I am thinking that no matter my weight, this year I may go ahead and buy another suit and go swimming. I am going to learn to love me and who I am right now! (of course it will probably still be just at my sister-in-laws, I'm not quite ready for the 'public' to love me!)
Ahh...Barbecues, Yum Yum! Yes I like going to people's barbecues. They are always fun. I like hanging out with family and friends and shooting the breeze. I like to see what all people make and the cute desserts. I love homeade casseroles and the taste of grilled burgers, chicken and steak. So what is it about barbecues that this fat chick has a problem with huh? Well how about the fact that I am the only one who is sweating going through the line to get my food. What about the fear of sitting in a lawn chair because I'm afraid it may not hold my weight. Or when I do sit in a chair, I worry that my butt is bursting out the sides of it. I also hate that even when I am sitting and have been for a while I still may be dripping with sweat. Ugh...
And finally, shorts. For real? Have you seen my knees? My thighs? I am disgusted if I wear shorts around the house, much less out somewhere. This subject is not even open to discussion right now. Although, maybe that's why I am the one who is sweating at the barbecues, because I'm the only one not wearing shorts and a tank top? My attire is the same all year...jeans and a tshirt. Occassionally I throw a pair of capri's into the mix.
Well so that's my take on the whole 'Summer Fun'. For this Fat chick it's 'Summer Sucks'.
Much Love!
The Fat Chick
KT
One of my FAVORITE past times is swimming! I use to be a water junkie, before I got fat. I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE the pool and would stay in one all day every day if I were more comfortable in my own skin. You see, I have only worn a bathing suit one time in the past 8 years. I wore it when I was pregnant. I needed to exercise and because of the swelling in my ankles, swimming was the best way to do so. So I went on a search for a suit...one that might possibly look half-way decent. Well I finally found one, after a four store search. I then would only go swimming at my sister-in-law's when no one else was there. I felt like a beached whale. I am thinking that no matter my weight, this year I may go ahead and buy another suit and go swimming. I am going to learn to love me and who I am right now! (of course it will probably still be just at my sister-in-laws, I'm not quite ready for the 'public' to love me!)
Ahh...Barbecues, Yum Yum! Yes I like going to people's barbecues. They are always fun. I like hanging out with family and friends and shooting the breeze. I like to see what all people make and the cute desserts. I love homeade casseroles and the taste of grilled burgers, chicken and steak. So what is it about barbecues that this fat chick has a problem with huh? Well how about the fact that I am the only one who is sweating going through the line to get my food. What about the fear of sitting in a lawn chair because I'm afraid it may not hold my weight. Or when I do sit in a chair, I worry that my butt is bursting out the sides of it. I also hate that even when I am sitting and have been for a while I still may be dripping with sweat. Ugh...
And finally, shorts. For real? Have you seen my knees? My thighs? I am disgusted if I wear shorts around the house, much less out somewhere. This subject is not even open to discussion right now. Although, maybe that's why I am the one who is sweating at the barbecues, because I'm the only one not wearing shorts and a tank top? My attire is the same all year...jeans and a tshirt. Occassionally I throw a pair of capri's into the mix.
Well so that's my take on the whole 'Summer Fun'. For this Fat chick it's 'Summer Sucks'.
Much Love!
The Fat Chick
KT
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