just checking to see if my new signature works :)

I did it!  I made a signature!  Now if I can just get it in the right spot every time!

Well I weighed...wow.

Cory and I weighed in tonight.  As both of us are at our highest ever weights we decided to do this together.  We are planning to over the next week or two get all of the junk out of our house.  We are no longer going to drink cokes, ever.  (we have both done these things for a while at a time, but now we are doing it TOGETHER.)  We are going to start exercising.  I'm excited.  There has always been about a 30lb difference in our weights.  This means that since he is going to start losing weight...I HAVE TO!  Anyways...just thought I would tell you all. 

Much Love and God bless
The Fat Chick
KT

The lake...ahh what a joy!

Okay...So regardless of the usual fat chick excuses we have to not go to outdoor events in the dead heat of summer, I went to our church cookout and service yesterday and today.  I had a ton of fun!  It also made me realize how much I'm missing out on by being fat.  Did you know that when you are fat and out of shape (or probably even skinny and out of shape)  that walking about a mile in gravel and dirt about kills ya??? Well I know it really doesn't kill you or even really do any damage of any sort.  But is sure does feel like it!  After walking around at the camp all day yesterday, and sitting out in the sun today at service we decided to go to the lake.  We drove over to the lake and walked down by the water.  The walk down wasn't so bad and it was beautiful.  Then, we had to walk back up...oh no.  Ugh...it was terrible.  I felt like I was going to pass out.  So walking up that huge giant hill I made a promise to Kylie.  I looked at her and told her that I promised I would get in shape.  When I say get in shape I mean I want to be able to walk and run and play with her.  I want to be able to be outside and not feel like I'm going to die.  So...here we go.  As Jillian Michaels says, "Unless you puke, faint, or die, KEEP WALKING!"   Pray for me please!!! 

Much Love,
The Fat Chick
KT

List of things NOT to wear when your fat

Okay.  So you have all seen it.  The girl who is overweight that thinks she is a size 2.  I'm not making fun of anyone...I just think that overweight people should have a little dignity.  Honestly...some of the clothes that are made for skinny people shouldn't be made for fat people. 

Now, I hope you understand.  I am NOT making fun of fat people, for heaven's sake, I'm there.  I also want to make it clear that I give props to big people who have the confidence to wear some of the things they do.  I am however, going to give you a list of things that I believe fat chicks shouldn't wear in public.  We already get negative attention...I don't feel that we should draw more negative attention in.  So here it is, the list...

1.  Spandex
2.  Mini-skirts
3.  Skinny Jeans
4.  Slinky material
5.  Daisy Dukes
6.  Tube Tops
7.  String Bikini's (remember, I said in public)
8.  Short tops (that your stomach hangs out from underneath)
9.  tight jumpsuits
10.  and this one is one that you SHOULD wear...A BRA!

Okay...I am sure I have offended some people.  But again...you have to remember...this is how I feel...it isn't the law or even what other people feel.  I am just speaking from my heart. 

Well Much Love!
The Fat Chick
KT

So, you want to lose weight?

So, I here that there are other people out there like me.  Other people who want to lose weight.  Well with America having an obesity epidemic and with our kids having high risks of following in our footsteps...I'd say there better be a ton more people that want to lose weight like me!  I pray that there are hundreds and maybe thousands that I am going to be able to reach with my little 'ole blog here.  So here is my new mission statement for 'Confessions of a fat chick'. 

    I first and foremost will praise and honor my awesome God in all I do and say.  I will be honest with my words.  I will do my best to bring you the facts.  I will try and make my content as interesting as possible.  I will not swim in my own self pity.  I will try and keep you informed of everything going on in my journey.  Last, but probably most importantly, I will ask God everyday to use me and my journey to help change all of your lives! 

I am not going to give an apology for any of my post from the past, just know that from here on out I will do my best to continue this blog and uphold my mission statement.  I appreciate all of my loyal readers!  I just truly pray for each and every one of you that God may work through me to touch your lives in some way. 

Much Love!

The Fat Chick

KT

Yeah...it's been a while...fat chicks will understand!

Okay.  So it's been a while since my last post.  I'm not sure...but I think that you true 'fat chicks' will understand.  I have been so dissapointed in myself.  I know that I am the one who keeps sabotaging my efforts.  I mean, come on...really?  What is it going to take, a dad-blamed heart attack to get me in gear?  I need to quit swimming in my own self pity and just put on my big girl panties and do this.  Yes...I am starting again...right where I started from the last time.  Hey, at least I didn't gain weight right?  LOL...How dumb is that!!!  No I didn't gain, but I sure didn't lose.  I know I might lose a few readers after this post, I'm sorry but this is how it is.  You can get frustrated at me and tell me how I should try and lose weight.  Go ahead scream at me and tell me what an idiot I am and how easy it was for you.  Well let me go ahead and tell you, that's not what I need to hear.  I know you are just trying to help...but I am going to have to help myself!  I had my 'aha' moment, I have been broken before God, I even related my story to a Bible story, but I-ME-MYSELF, has not let go of this attitude towards myself.  So here's how it's going to go from now on. 

1.  I am going to start by reading two of what seems like some very awesome books that one of you sent me in the mail.  They look fabulous and both of them seem like information that could help me change my way of thinking about this!  Thank you sooooooooo much Leah!  You are super sweet and an awesome person!  Just keep praying for me please!

2.  I am going to continue reading your comments, feedback, and messages and maybe something will change in me by doing so.

3.  I am not going to try and do everything at once. 

4.  I am going to keep praying about this and asking God to heal my brain and my heart.  (and I ask that you do so too)

So there you go...have at it.  Just please be nice.  Thanks!
Much Love!
The Fat Chick
KT

You of Little Faith!!!

Okay...so a friend of ours asked us to cover for them in teaching their junior high sunday school class for the next two sundays.  Cory and I of course said yes.  Well in thinking about what our lessons should be about I remembered one of my favorite stories in the Bible, Jesus walking on water.  I have always thought of the story as a story about hope.  One where no matter how bad our life gets, Jesus is there with us and to save us.  Well this still holds to be true for this story, but while reading up on it I have gotten another meaning as well.

This story talks about how when Jesus came the disciples thought that he was a ghost because he was out on the water.  He said, 'It is I.'  Well Peter decided he wanted proof.  So he said for the Lord to show him that it was really him by calling him to come out on the water with him.  Jesus said, 'Come'.  So Peter did.  While he was focused on the Lord he stayed above the waves and was untouched by the storm.  When Peter started to doubt he started to sink, and asked the Lord to save him.  Jesus immediately reached out his hand and saved him.  Jesus then said, "You of Little faith, why did you doubt?"  \

This story is so true of our lives.  Especially those of a Fat Chick.  We go along in daily life eating to our hearts content.  Then we are in the middle of our 'minds' storm and realize that we need Jesus to help us to beat this and drop the weight.  When we cry out to Him, He is there.  But then as we are starting to progress we think that we are failing and that it is up to us, not Jesus, to get through this.  Then when we stop looking to Jesus and forget to lean on him and turn everything over to him, we stop losing weight, we start failing, AGAIN!  Then the horrible cycle starts over again!

We have to stop having such small faith.  We have to do what Peter was doing in the beginning.  We have to look to Jesus and trust in him with all our hearts to pull us through and help us drop the weight.  We have to turn it over and believe that He is the almighty God and the creator of the universe and can give and take away.  So I pray tonight that I keep my focus on Jesus and walk with Him in the journey of dropping this weight!  I pray the same for all you sister Fat chicks out there.  I also pray this for everyone who is seeking God's assistance and guidance in their life. 

Much Love,
The Fat Chick
KT

Lab work

Okay.  So I had my lab work drawn on Friday.  I wasn't happy with the results.  I am borderline everything!  Your LDL cholesterol (bad) is suppose to be 0-99, mine was 107!  My sugar, which mind you I fasted for more than 12 hours, was 106.  That doesn't sound bad, but for fasting that long it upset me!  So needless to say I have to crank it up.  I am joining the local gym and get my butt in gear.  I will let you know how it goes!  Please pray for me...my fat butt is going to be hurting! I am going tomorrow to join...and may work out for the first time. 

The Fat Chick
KT

"Losing it with Jillian"...

This is my new favorite show!  I love that hulu.com has it on the day after it airs.  I absloutely LOVE it!  I love Jillian Michaels and I think that she is an awesome person!  I just watched the fourth episode, The Northern Family.  I thought it was pretty awesome that they are  just right down the road in Goodletsville. 

Now, what have I been up to?  Well I have been eating better and drinking more water.  I have had some cokes in the last week but just a few.  I AM going to change my life.  I'm not going to do as usual and let one setback ruin my whole journey.  Jillian Michaels says, 'the only way to truly fail is to quit.'  That is so true.  I am going to stop being afraid of failure and as the old Nike slogan says, JUST DO IT! 

So here are a few of my goals for the next 8 weeks:

1.  To love myself no matter my weight
2.  To feed my family healthier foods
3.  To Lose 40lbs. 
4.  To buy a bodybugg
5.  To get some New Balance 1123's

So thanks and much love!
The Fat Chick
KT

Finally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow.  Yeah that's it, just wow.  It has happened for me.  All this time I have heard people talking about their 'aha' moment.  Well let me tell you a little secret, everytime I have broken down I thought I was having my 'aha' moment.  Every time I have cried and prayed and asked God to please help me overcome this, I have thought that was it.  I mean, afterall, I was asking God, my totally awesome God to take it over and make it his.  How could that not be my moment?  Well God had bigger things in store for me!  Of course he did and does!  Let me tell you about my 'aha' moment!

Okay...so last night and tonight I watched the first three episodes of the new show, 'Losing it with Jillian'.  (which by the way is AMAZING!)  As I watched these shows I thought to myself, 'I don't have what these people have, I don't know why I keep sabotaging myself and keep gaining weight.  I have had a fabulous life and been blessed with wonderful people in my life.  I just don't have the emotional ties to weight like these people do.'   There is one episode in particular (the third one) where a girl named Rachel reminded me of myself.  She was 25 and had failed nursing school.  She said she didn't know why she had failed but that she doesn't give things her all because she is afraid of failure.  Ding ding ding!  duh...so am I.  So this got me to thinking about my fear of failure. 

I was just lying here in bed thinking about why I am afraid of failure and the problems it has caused.  Another way I could explain my fear is the need to be perfect.  I feel like if I am going to do something I should be perfect at it, the best, no exceptions.  I have went through my adult life just being lackluster, giving minimal effort and just skimming by.  And you want to know why...because I am afraid if I give something my all it may not be good enough.  So, why do I feel this way?  Well I bet if you ask my dad he will give you some crazy answer as to why I feel this way.  In all reality I feel this way because it's the way my dad made me feel when I was younger.  I know all parents want is the best for their kids.    But really and truly forcing your kids to be the best at everything or perfect isn't going to make them any better.  Now let me explain.  I do believe in helping your kids excel and get better, but when they are giving it everything they have at the end of the day you should let them know you are proud of them.  At the end of my days my dad would just tell me the things I did wrong and tell me that it wasn't good enough.  As a child you aim to please your parents and make them proud.  Whenever I was doing my best and it wasn't good enough I felt I could never make my dad proud.  So what did I do?  I gave up.  I gave up on everything.  I mean, why not?  Why try your hardest at something and still 'fail'?  Now I wasn't actually failing, just in my father's eyes.  But at the time I couldn't see that.  Actually, I haven't been able to see that until TONIGHT! 

From the time I was in elementary school until now, (about 16 years) I have felt like my best wasn't good enough.  That I shouldn't even try, because if I did I would fail.  I have felt like if you aren't perfect, you aren't good enough.  Well today I also was at a pool party.  Yes me, a fat chick at a pool party.  There were tons of people there.  I noticed several things.  I notice that even the 'skinny' chicks aren't perfect.  They aren't human barbie's running around in their bathing suits.  They have a little 'extra' in some areas and yet they were completely okay with running around the pool all day just in their suits! (and if you are one of those skinny chicks, thank you...thank you for not being barbies and showing me that I don't have to be!  You are beautiful people!)  What a novel idea...being comfortable in your own skin and not having to reach for a towel as you get out of the pool and never taking it off.  It made me realize, that when I am losing weight, my body doesn't have to be perfect.  It doesn't have to be free of lumps and bumps.  I just have to be comfortable with myself and where I am right then.  My God made me just the way I am...and for good reasons!  He made me PERFECT! 

NO MORE TRYING...'Trying is planning to fail.' Jillian Michaels.  I am perfect already so no need to strive for perfection.  I am going to lose weight, because that's what I want.  I don't have to lose it perfectly, or more importantly, I don't have to look like Barbie when I'm at my goal.  I just have to look like ME! 

So, this was my 'aha' moment.  I hope you all enjoy reading my blog.  I hope and pray that if you are a fat chick like me you will have your 'aha' moment soon.

MUCH LOVE!
The Fat Chick
KT

p.s.  just for your info...I love my dad.  He is who he is.  I know that God is working on him too!

One step at a time...

Okay, so this is day four of NO cokes, diet or regular!  (I did have one sprite)  I am going to try and only drink non-carbonated things.  I know this doesn't seem like much but to me it is a huge step.  I am going to start the exercising next week! Pray for me please!  Thanks and much love.

The Fat Chick
KT

ugh.....need your input PLEASE!

Okay, so here is my dilemma, Kylie has been invited to her first pool party!  I know, sounds like fun huh?  Well I want it to be fun for her, the only problem is, I don't want to put on a bathing suit!  I am trying to find everyway around putting one on.  I just don't know what to do.  I really want to go swimming with her but I really don't want to be in a suit in front of all those 'skinny' people.  (and trust me, they are all skinny!  one is actually an aerobics instructor)  I am really really dreading making a decision on this.  I can't miss the party, that's not an option.  So what's a fat chick to do?  Really, I'm asking, what am I to do?  Feedback please!  Thanks!

The Fat Chick
KT

You know the drill...

So I had to go grocery shopping today after my first day at my new job. (which by the way is FABULOUS!)  I decided that I needed to do the smart thing and buy mainly healthy foods since I am going to be more aware of what goes in my mouth.  I did okay I guess.  I got what I thought was healthy and what sounded good.  Here is what I brought home:

Lunch Meat (turkey and chicken)
Whole Wheat bread
baby spinach leaves
broccoli
cucumber
bananas
strawberries
grapes
pineapple
pearl onions
baby bella mushrooms
sugar free jello
sugar free pudding
low fat yogurt
no sugar added canned peaches
no sugar added canned mixed fruit
fiber one bars
Lean Cuisine meals
Pizza (for tonight)
breadsticks (for tonight)

So, I don't think I did very bad.  Now I am just going to have to stick to only eating these things.  So, I bet you are wondering how I did today.  Well, any of you fat chicks know the drill...I pigged out!  It's this sick twisted mentality that us fat chicks have.  We see eating right as a diet, and before we go on the 'diet' we have to have our 'last meal'.  It's like we think we are going to be starving ourselves.  For lunch I had a cheesburger, half of an order of onion rings and a small cheesequake blizzard!  I guess I justified it by only eating half of the onion rings and getting a small blizzard.  Yeah right...it was still like a MILLION calories!  But of course it was okay...it was my last lunch.  Seriously?  What makes my mind work like that?  Then for dinner we had pizza and breadsticks because I was running short on time.  This too was okay because it was my last dinner.  Oh yeah...not to mention the five chocolate chip cookies that I had throughout the night...I just had to eat them tonight, after all, I couldn't let them go to waste!?!?!?!?!  

So I am lying here in bed, stuffed to the max.  It's okay though right?  It is my last night eating like this!?!  Yeah it is, I am saying that this was my last time eating like this, as a fat chick!  Okay so seriously, I did act a bit silly with the eating today, but that's how us fat chicks roll.  From here on out this will be a journal to my life and how I'm doing with the whole, 'getting skinny/healthy' thing.  Please pray for me and I will be praying for you all and the fat chicks in your life.  I hope that you will consider going on this journey and consider that bite you are taking right now your 'last bite' as a fat chick!  Thanks and Much Love!

The Fat Chick
KT

So here we go...what you have all been waiting for...

I'm breaking broken.  I stepped on the scale today.  I am officially only two pounds away from my heaviest weight ever, well besides when I was pregnant.  I cried.  Then I got mad.  I can't believe that I've let it come to this, AGAIN!  I have told myself over and over and over again that I would NEVER get back to my heaviest weight.  I promised myself that it just wouldn't happen.  Well, I have almost made it back and I'm scared to death.  I don't want to be there. 

I have been doing this blog for a while and I'm sure you have all been wondering the same thing, 'this girl keeps talking about how upset she is being fat, but what is she doing to change it?'  Well up until now I have not really been doing anything except complaining about being fat.  I have been telling you about all that us fat chicks have to go through.  Well, I want to change that, kind of.  I am going to start making this blog a journal about me and what I am doing to CHANGE! 

 I am still going to be giving you the different things that go through the mind of a fat chick, but I am also going to start adding a daily journal.  I am going to be confessing all that I am doing to change this fat chick into a skinny chick.  I am going to show you what I'm eating, tell you what I'm thinking, and share the exercises I'm doing.  I hope you don't mind.  Also, I know this is a big embarrassing thing, but I'm going to be telling you my weight and my weight loss progress.  I know...seems crazy huh?  I know this is going to be a journey of ups and downs and a hard journey to say the least, but hopefully I can inspire someone else to make a change. 

So if you want to keep up with my weight...it will be over to the side at all times.  Over there somewhere ---------> 

Well here we go, I hope I keep you guys entertained and informed! 
Much Love,
The Fat Chick
KT

It's suppose to be Summer Fun...

But for us fat chicks it's more like Summer Sucks!  Okay, so hear me out on this one, I love Summer.  I love the outdoor gatherings, the picnics, the pool parties, the barbecues, the sun, and riding with my windows down.  Well I use to love all of those things.  You see, for a fat chick they aren't as fun as they use to be.  I hate sweating to death at the events, not being able to wear shorts, not wearing a bathing suit, and eating in front of people.  I know I know, there are shorts and bathing suits out there that are cute and are made for plus size gals, I just don't feel comfortable in them. 

One of my FAVORITE past times is swimming!  I use to be a water junkie, before I got fat.  I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE the pool and would stay in one all day every day if I were more comfortable in my own skin.  You see, I have only worn a bathing suit one time in the past 8 years.  I wore it when I was pregnant.  I needed to exercise and because of the swelling in my ankles, swimming was the best way to do so.  So I went on a search for a suit...one that might possibly look half-way decent.  Well I finally found one, after a four store search.  I then would only go swimming at my sister-in-law's when no one else was there.  I felt like a beached whale.  I am thinking that no matter my weight, this year I may go ahead and buy another suit and go swimming.  I am going to learn to love me and who I am right now!  (of course it will probably still be just at my sister-in-laws, I'm not quite ready for the 'public' to love me!)  

Ahh...Barbecues,  Yum Yum!  Yes I like going to people's barbecues.  They are always fun.  I like hanging out with family and friends and shooting the breeze.  I like to see what all people make and the cute desserts.  I love homeade casseroles and the taste of grilled burgers, chicken and steak.  So what is it about barbecues that this fat chick has a problem with huh?  Well how about the fact that I am the only one who is sweating going through the line to get my food.  What about the fear of sitting in a lawn chair because I'm afraid it may not hold my weight.  Or when I do sit in a chair, I worry that my butt is bursting out the sides of it.  I also hate that even when I am sitting and have been for a while I still may be dripping with sweat.  Ugh...

And finally, shorts.  For real?  Have you seen my knees?  My thighs?  I am disgusted if I wear shorts around the house, much less out somewhere.  This subject is not even open to discussion right now.   Although, maybe that's why I am the one who is sweating at the barbecues, because I'm the only one not wearing shorts and a tank top?  My attire is the same all year...jeans and a tshirt.  Occassionally I throw a pair of capri's into the mix.

Well so that's my take on the whole 'Summer Fun'.  For this Fat chick it's 'Summer Sucks'. 
Much Love!

The Fat Chick
KT 

A girls most favorite thing...Unless you're a fat chick!

Shopping...I love love love shopping.  I love shopping for my daughter's clothes, for my daughter's toys, for my husband, for my house, for my hobbies, for almost everything under the sun...EXCEPT my clothes!  It's such a terrible terrible world out there for fat chicks when it comes to clothing. 

Okay so let's name a few of the 'skinny' girls favorite stores; Abercrombie, Hollister, Pac Sun, American Eagle, Charlotte Russe, Maurices, Talbot, New York and Company, Buckle, Old Navy, Gap, the big department stores,  and of course Victoria Secret's. 

Let's see, what do us fat chicks have to look forward to;  Lane Bryant (for clothes and undergarments), and very very small sections in the department stores, Cato, and Fashion Bug.  I personally do not care for ANY of the options for fat chicks.  It is extremely hit and miss.  Most of the plus size clothing out there is made for the 'older' population, or is way too flashy for the 'normal' everyday wear.  I know not everyone who is plus sized out there is as much of a 'tomboy' as I am, but I'm pretty sure not everyone of them want to be walking around everyday with a big bling bling flower on our shirt or those little bitty cap sleeves.  I also am pretty sure that most of us don't want to be walking around with our cleavage hanging out of all the v-neck shirts that are made to take the attention away from us being fat.  Come on now, people know we are fat, showing our cleavage isn't going to cover it up.  Where is the 'plain jane' clothing that I want?  You know what I mean, the cute jeans (that don't show your crack everytime you sit down), and the cute crew neck tops.    Skinny people have them, why not us? 

Because of all of the previous things mentioned, shopping trips turn into all day emotional roller coaster rides that usually end up in only buying one or two things (if any).  The shopping trips I take usually end in taking home more for Kylie or Cory than myself, when it was suppose to be a trip for ME to get clothes.  Trust me when I tell you I try on a MILLION things, well at least as many as they have in that store.  Everything either fits funny or is way too fancy or blingy for my style.  I usually end up having at least one, if not five, breakdowns in the dressing room per trip. 

So, what's in the closet of a fat chick who can't find clothes?  Well let me tell you, I have a closet full of clothes, most of which don't fit.  Why don't they fit?  Well this goes back to my post about weight loss, it goes up and down more than the stock market.  So if they don't fit what do I wear?  Well I have two pairs of jeans that fit properly, one pair of black pants, a few random tshirts, and about three half way dressy shirts that I wear at all times!  Yeah I know, it's sounds bad huh?  Well I'm just thankful that I have clothes. 

That's pretty much the life of a fat chick and fashion.  Trust me, I wish I were more fashionable, then I would have more wearable clothes.  When it comes down to it, us fat chicks can't even enjoy a girls most treasured hobby, clothes shopping! 

Thanks for reading!
and Happy shopping!

The Fat Chick,
KT

So it's about to get raw...

Here I sit, on a Sunday afternoon.  I am stewing in my own self pity, again.  I am so sick of being fat, I say it over, and over, and over again.  Each time I feel like this I say to myself, 'this is IT!  I am done with being fat!  I am tired of being miserable and unhappy with myself!'  I also vow to NEVER eat another harmful or fattening thing and SWEAR to drink water only.  Then the next day I find myself unable to make it through the day without that Moutain Dew or without that chocolate.  My excuse everytime is, 'oh well I DESERVE it today, it's been a hard day,' or 'I'll start tomorrow with eating right, I just NEED this right now.'  Seriously?  I DESERVE to be fat?  Well let me answer that, NO, NO, NO, I do NOT deserve to be fat!  I am a great person and have a great family, I am a child of God!  These so called 'rewards' are actually some sick form of punishment. 

So why am I writing this post?  Well I am not sure actually.  Maybe it's because I need to get this out and make it known, being fat is a daily struggle.  Maybe I need for this to be IT, you know, my out to being fat.  Maybe this is going to be the last straw, the thing that pushes me over the edge, and makes me actually do the things I have promised myself so many times in the past.  Maybe my Creator, my God, is going to use my struggle and this blog as a way to help many, many more.  (this is what I pray as I am writing this) 

Also, if you are wondering why I am writing this now, let me tell you about my weekend.  It started Friday night when I went to a friends graduation reception. First came the getting ready for it.  Of course I have no 'cute' clothes so I donned my only pair of black pants and a random polo.  I didn't even look in the mirrior before I left, besides, I knew it didn't look good, how could it?  I'm fat.  So when we got there I walked in, talked a bit, then sat down to eat with my daughter.  The entire time I was getting our food and while I was eating, I felt like people kept looking at me with judging eyes, wondering why I was even eating.  I felt as if every bite I took someone saw me and said 'come on lady, just stop'.  The sad thing was, I didn't even eat very much. So then we went home.  Saturday, I donned the same pair of black pants and a different shirt.  Again, not looking in the mirrior.  My daughter and I then went to the same friend's nursing pinning.  Of course, by the time I left, I had sweated off all of my makeup that I put on.  My thought was, 'why even try, you can't make fat pretty'.  Then Saturday night we went to my cousins dance recital...ahh the dreaded stadium seating.  I know you 'skinny' people hate sitting beside a fat person, but guess what, us fat people hate sitting there PERIOD!  I feel absolutely terrible when I go to something that has seats that can't be moved.  I hate 'spilling' over onto someone else's seat.  I feel as though again, everyone is watching me and wondering when I am going to move. 

So that was my weekend in a nutshell.  I hope I didn't bore you all too much.  I just felt the need to let this all out.  I wanted you all to know how it feels to be fat.  If you are fat like me, I pray for you, I pray that you don't feel the way I do.  I pray that God heals us and helps us change our brains and our habits.  I pray that I can do this, I know that I can with God's help.

Now, I know this was a lot to take in and I hope you made it all the way through.  But I do ask that you remember, I am broken, this is me, raw.  I know that this isn't every fat chick's reality...but it is mine.  With that said, I welcome comments.  I would love to hear what you all have to say!  If you don't comment here you can message me on facebook with your comments.  If you arent my friend on facebook yet you can add me at www.facebook.com/inspiredbygrace   Thanks so much!  Much Love!

 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  Philippians 4:13 

The fat chick,
KT

Coming Soon...

I promise that a new post is coming soon...  This is finals week!  I have a final on Thursday and one on Friday.  Then on Friday we are going to a friends graduation reception.  Saturday we are going to that friends nursing pinning and then to my little cousin's dance recital.  So this week I am busy busy busy.  Next week, things will start coming out of my big mouth mind and on to this blog!  Hope you all have a great weekend!  I'm sure I will, well as much as an uncomfortable fat chick can when she feels like everyone is looking at her everytime she takes a bite!  lol.   Much Love!

KT

Just so you know....it sucks to be fat...

       Well you are reading this blog for one of three reasons...1.) you are my friend and thought you might check it out, or 2.)you are fat, overweight, plump, have some extra cushion, have a 'pretty face', or you have been any of these things at one time in your life, or 3.) you are scared of becoming any of those things in #2 at some point in your life. 
        Here's a little history on me...I'm 28, mother to one and wife.  I have been overweight most all of my adult life.  I'm not sure exactly how I got here but I'm sure it had a little something lot to do with the fact I quit doing exercise and started eating more unhealthy food, well actually more food all together. I have 'tried' to lose weight in the past and have been successful many times, well partially successful.  My diet history is a like most of the people on earth who have 'dieted' before; gain weight, lose weight, gain weight, gain weight, gain weight, lose weight, gain weight, lose weight, gain weight, gain weight, gain weight, lose weight, and as always I end a diet with 'gain weight'.  Now at the ripe old age of 28 I am on high blood pressure medicine and I have high cholesterol.  (huh, wonder how that happened)  
        Now, the reason for this blog.  I am so sick and tired of people thinking that fat people don't know we are fat and thinking that we are completely comfortable with being fat.  Yeah I know...you skinny people are probably saying to your self right now, 'why don't you just get up and exercise and just put down the food?'  Well, honestly, I don't know.  I am positively miserable with being fat, and I am here bringing to light what us fat chicks go through in our daily lives that our skinny counter parts may not even imagine. 

        Be ready to laugh a little, cry a little and have your eyes opened to how it feels to be a fat chick.  So here goes...here are the Confessions of a Fat chick...a fed up fat chick!

KT