Rock Bottom and a Diet Bet

So, it's here.  The night before I start changing my habits.  (yes, I made a jug of sweet tea just to drink tonight, don't judge)  I'm nervous.  I do NOT want to fail again. I will NOT fail again!  After looking back at all my blog posts from way back....it made me super sad to see how many times I was 'broken' and ready to change for good.  Ugh.  Sickening.  A friend once told me that I would have to hit rock bottom before I would make a change.  But the coolest thing that she told me....is that I could decide what my rock bottom was.  Well I am deciding what it is...RIGHT NOW.  My rock bottom IS now.  I am at (almost) my highest weight (only 16 pounds less), I am miserable, embarrassed, and tired of feeling like CRAP!  I want to be the wife my husband can be proud of, the mom my girls won't be embarrassed by, and the confident chick people can look up to. So here we go, since I am at rock bottom with my self esteem, weight, and eating habits...there is only one way to go...UP! 

So to get this party started I decided to make a little wager on myself.  I joined this Diet Bet on dietbet.com.  Chris and Heidi Powell (Chris from extreme makeover weightloss edition) are leading one of the bets.  I had to pay $30 to join.  You have four weeks to lose 4% of your body weight.  For me that is about 12 pounds.  I KNOW I can do it.  At the end of the four weeks you send in your official weigh in and all of the winners of the game split the pot.  The losers forfeit their $30.  On average winners get 1.5 to 2x their bet money back.  I'm hoping it's more this time :)  If this goes well I will probably join one of the six month bets! 

28 days   4%
I GOT THIS!

Super nervous Excited!!!!!  I know I can do this....I know there will be hard times but I am so thankful to have my friends and family to lean on, and of course YOU!  I know I can come here and vent and you guys will be so supportive.  :)  Thanks so much, and God bless!

The Fat Chick
KT

Shake it up...year of change

It has been so long since I have posted to this blog...I have probably lost a ton of readers.  Oops.  I am claiming 2014 to be my year of change.  I want to be a better wife, better mom, better friend, better my relationship with God, lose weight, and become a successful real estate agent.  Yeah yeah, I know....new years resolutions don't stick.  Well mine aren't new years resolutions...I am making life changes! 


1.  Better wife- My sweet husband has been amazing and is supportive in everything I want to do.  He works his booty off to take care of us!   I plan to be more aware of him and what he does for the family and to show him more respect.  Also I plan to increase my income to take some of the load off of him :) 


2.  Better mom- My girls deserve more of me when I'm around.  I am going to put my devices/phone down more and pay more attention to them.  I try not to be on it but I notice myself checking it more often than I should.  It can wait, my girls are more important. 


3.  Better friend- I want to be there for my friends more.  Be more aware of their needs and offer to help before they ask for it.  I want to be a best friend.  I want to trust people more. 


4.  Better relationship with God- I want to read my bible more, pray more, and have more faith.  I want to grow closer to God and rely on Him for everything, and not on myself!


5.  Lose weight- I am going to lose 100lbs this year.  yes, 100lbs.  I know, it's a lofty goal.  But I know that I can.  With the help of my husband, family, friends and of course God, I know it can be done!


6.  Become a successful real estate agent- I love helping people, love real estate, and can't wait to help people find their dream homes!!!!! 


So these are my goals for this year.  And I can't wait to see/make them come true!  Monday starts my healthier eating and weight loss journey.  And everyday is a step towards my goals!  thanks in advance for the prayers. 


The Fat Chick
KT

I am an addict...

Okay...so I know, you are reading the title and judging me.  Go ahead, I don't give a crap.  I know that people look at people who call themselves 'food addicts' and laugh.  You think that it's not an addiction.  You think that it's just a joke.  Well let me tell you, it's so not a joke.  It is chemical, physical, and mental, just like alcohol/drugs addiction.  I know that to get healthy and beat this addiction it's going to take amazing crazy work...which I'm not sure I'm completely ready for.  I even sometimes think to myself that it's a joke, and why cant I just be 'normal'?  Why can't I just eat one piece of cake, or one serving of chips, or one piece of bread?  The same reason an alcoholic can't just take one drink of alcohol.  Addict. 

So I just needed to put that out there.  I'm so ready to beat this.  Prayers please. 

Thanks and much love!

I'm BACK!!!!!

Okay...so it's been 1 1/2 years since I've used this blog. Well it's time to start back. Here I am at 1.5 years later and I weigh MORE than I did the last time I was on here. It is pretty sad. I am watching the TV series, Ruby.  She's really inspiring! She does one thing I feel I definitely need to be doing...she writes in her journal.  I am going to try and use this blog as my journal. 

So, what have I been up to?  Well, lots of 'diets' again.  I even went to a bariatric surgeon and went through the steps to be set up for lap band.  I had my surgery date set for August 23 of 2011.  I called and cancelled.  I couldn't do it.  I have mixed feelings about me cancelling the surgery.  Sometimes I wonder how much I could have already lost if I had went through with lap band.  Although my feelings are mixed, I am mainly super glad I didn't go through with it.  I feel like I have too many issues to deal with and that the band wasn't the right choice for me at that time. 

I need to work on forgiving myself.  I am super hard on myself and see myself as a failure in so many areas of my life.  I need to work on loving myself.  I know that it is going to take this forgivemess of myself to be able to move forward in all areas.  I have even let my low self esteem put a barrier in between me and God. 

So, I'm not sure how many of you are still with me...but here I go.  Super long journey!  But it's going to start with one step...and it's going to be baby steps.  But as long as I'm moving I'm okay with that. 

just checking to see if my new signature works :)

I did it!  I made a signature!  Now if I can just get it in the right spot every time!

Well I weighed...wow.

Cory and I weighed in tonight.  As both of us are at our highest ever weights we decided to do this together.  We are planning to over the next week or two get all of the junk out of our house.  We are no longer going to drink cokes, ever.  (we have both done these things for a while at a time, but now we are doing it TOGETHER.)  We are going to start exercising.  I'm excited.  There has always been about a 30lb difference in our weights.  This means that since he is going to start losing weight...I HAVE TO!  Anyways...just thought I would tell you all. 

Much Love and God bless
The Fat Chick
KT

The lake...ahh what a joy!

Okay...So regardless of the usual fat chick excuses we have to not go to outdoor events in the dead heat of summer, I went to our church cookout and service yesterday and today.  I had a ton of fun!  It also made me realize how much I'm missing out on by being fat.  Did you know that when you are fat and out of shape (or probably even skinny and out of shape)  that walking about a mile in gravel and dirt about kills ya??? Well I know it really doesn't kill you or even really do any damage of any sort.  But is sure does feel like it!  After walking around at the camp all day yesterday, and sitting out in the sun today at service we decided to go to the lake.  We drove over to the lake and walked down by the water.  The walk down wasn't so bad and it was beautiful.  Then, we had to walk back up...oh no.  Ugh...it was terrible.  I felt like I was going to pass out.  So walking up that huge giant hill I made a promise to Kylie.  I looked at her and told her that I promised I would get in shape.  When I say get in shape I mean I want to be able to walk and run and play with her.  I want to be able to be outside and not feel like I'm going to die.  So...here we go.  As Jillian Michaels says, "Unless you puke, faint, or die, KEEP WALKING!"   Pray for me please!!! 

Much Love,
The Fat Chick
KT